Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Compassion and Queen for a Day

Macee helped us by eating some weeds...
It took me awhile to post this. I know Mother's Day was a couple weeks ago...but sometimes it takes me a while to post :)

Every Mother's Day and Birthday the children ask me, "What do you want?" and my answer is always the same. "All I want is a day when I can do whatever I want and nobody tells me I can't or that I should be doing something else. And on top of that I want a day where if I ask someone to help me or play with me they say yes, and they do not complain." Simply put - a day where I am the queen and it is "all about me" :)

Over the years this has become a tradition in our family. Every time someone has a birthday or special day those are the rules - you can't say no to them, you have to be nice to them, and they can do whatever they want. They are queen or king for the day.

However, it is amazing how respectful everyone can be of this position. It is in the back of everyone's minds that whatever they do on this day may come back to them later and nobody wants to hurt anyone or make them feel bad so all is done with consideration. And usually we all end up having fun. It is a different experience to live in someone else's world for a day. Usually we spend the day in our own world or in cooperating with others. To actually let go of all that and spend a day in someone else's world is fun for them (of course) but also teaches the other members of the family compasion, patience, the art of giving, insight into another's life and much more.

This Mother's Day I didn't even have to make any requests for most of the morning. I was served the traditional "special breakfast" (the kids also get this on their birthdays) and Sofi even decorated the chalk board for me. Once breakfast and hanging out was done I only had one request for the day - that we all work on the garden. It was a true joy to have everyone say "yes mama!" without arguing they had something better to do. I could see a hint of it in the back of their minds but...

As with all "tasks" we often end up loving them a lot more than we thought we would. This is part of the lesson in allowing someone else to lead you during the day. About ten minutes into our gardening Sofi said, "This is so much fun" and Sunii was happily digging. They were joyful at finding worms, they laughed at the dog "helping us" , they were exicted to plant the stawberries. Of course gardening is always fun but it is easy to forget how fun something is when it becomes a task by someone else asking us to do it :) So Mother's Day was the perfect day to ask.

Here are some photos of what we got done that morning. It was so much! It always amazes me how much can get done once a person puts their mind to it.

Sofi decided we should all garden in our bare feet!


My Mother's Day breakfast


Tan Family said...

I love this idea! What a wonderful Mother's Day.

Jenell said...

Kristie, my Mother's Day was not like this at all. I have taken the opposite stance for holidays. I have said that I don't need anything but love. But what ends up happening is that I get mildly resentful, because I do need something else. I do want to be queen for the day. Don't we all want to be king or queen sometimes?! Thank you for helping me admit it. ;)

Oh, and by the way, I love gardening in bare feet! Go Sofi!

Kristie Karima Burns, MH, ND said...


I love everything in bare feet! I know what you mean about how it can go. I used to have days like that. It was by taking a course in "How to be an Effective Healer" that I learned what I needed to do for myself to be my best for others :) Plus I am a miserable "liar". If I say I don't want anything everyone can tell I am just saying that - LOL!

Jenell said...

Kristie, I'm a horrible "liar," too. :) I always have gotten caught and just plain don't like the feeling of being dishonest. So, I'm usually pretty blunt and up-front if something's important to me. The tricky part for me was recognizing my needs, ya know? I'm so used to taking care of others sometimes, that it's difficult to see what my soul is really calling for. Just as your daughter taught you about barefoot gardening, mine inadvertently unearthed my innermost desires. And you gave me a word for it-"Queen." Thanks, Kristie!