Wednesday, November 12, 2008

'Twas the Night Before Solstice

It is a little early for this but people enjoyed it so much last year I wanted to give everyone time to share it. As I mentioned last year - you are welcome to post this to any list or on any BLOG or do anything you want with it, as long as you keep it intact with my name and website.

Twas the Night Before Solstice
By Kristie Burns

'Twas the night before Solstice
and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
not even our pet mouse

Knitted wool stockings
were hung with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas
soon would be there

The children were tucked
in organic cotton sheets,
The air filter blocking
pollution from the streets.

While mama stayed up
to make handmade gifts
I co-slept with the kids
and watched auras shift.

When out in the herb garden
arose such a clatter
I sprung out of our futon
to see what was the matter!

Away to the solar panels
I flew like a flash.
They took me hours to install,
I hoped they hadn't crashed.

The crystals we'd laid out
to absorb the moonlight
Sparkled like fairydust
and blocked my sight.

When, what to my
wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh
without any reindeer.

At that moment I knew
that the little old man
Had received my last letter
so bold and so grand

Could you stop using reindeer?
Last year I wrote him,
And enclosed
with the note a PETA pin.

As he neared the house
in his all-wooden sleigh
I noticed it was powered
by wheatgrass and hay.

Ostheimer! Kinderkram!
Stockmar! Fair Trade!
Don't bother landing
if the toys aren't handmade!

"Hey Arriana," I called
to my wife with chagrin,"
With that body mass
do you think he's vegetarian?"

She paused only a moment
from her crafting and said,
"One moment dear!
I'm shaping this gol-darn Waldorf doll's head!"

On our roof I strained
to hear the ole boy
But I'd recently
insulated it with soy.

So I drew in my hand
and was turning around,
When in through the front door
came St. Nick with a bound.

The Advent wreath
had caught in his hair
As I said, "Why in the world
did you enter from THERE?"

The soot in your chimney
contains poisons galore.
You should consider
the environment more.

But he was dressed in fur
from his head to his foot
So I said, "Look whose
talking about my soot!"

A bundle of felt he had
flung on his back.
"I hope you like handiwork,"
he said with a laugh.

His eyes - how they twinkled!
His dimples were treats!
His cheeks reminded me
of when I dye silk with beets.

He must be of the
choleric type I mused.
It's a good thing with
lavender the stockings I infused.

With his fur boots
he slipped on the bamboo wood floor.
I offered him Arnica and
then closed the front door.

After all that I'd paid
to the energy company this year
I didn't want one bit of
that cold air in here.

He had a broad face
and a little round belly
I asked him,
"Have you seen your naturopath lately?"

He was so chubby and plump
I worried for his health
But I laughed when I saw him
in spite of myself.

He spoke not a word,
but went straight to task,
Needle-felting dragons
and weaving a mask.

He knitted a pure cotton sweater
and two pairs of mittens,
Then picked up a knife
and carved 2 wood kittens.

He finger-knitted
an entire nativity scene.
With the most amazing skill
I'd ever seen!

When he sprang
from his seat on the floor and arose
I yelled, "Arianna - watch -
there he goes!"

With the unfinished doll
she was struggling to sew,
Arriana went to watch
him out the window.

And I heard him exclaim
as he drove out of sight!"
Arriana, my dear,
the stiches are too tight!"


earthmama said...

Oh Kristie,

I needed a good belly laugh this morning! That is a keeper. I would love to have your permission to post it on my blog. Please let me know as soon as you can. This is soooo perfect! :)

Melissa said...

I love this. I laughed and laughed!
Melissa Maranda

Leilani Cleveland Deveau said...

Oh Kristie, this is absolutely delightful! You are brilliant, you know that? *chuckle*...I will be putting this on my blog for sharing toute de suite...kudos to you & your creative writing. ;)